Borderline Personality Disorder Support Group and Some Thoughts

So last night I attended the support group for Borderline Personality Disorder that is located here in Houston, Tx, with my wife @Messyartoflvng. The group is run in part by @CarlDunnJr and last night we watched a couple videos featuring Marsha Linehan, PhD. The first video If Only We Had Known: A Family Guide to Borderline Personality Disorder (Program 1 – Understanding Borderline Personality Disorder) went over Understanding Borderline Personality Disorder and it was a bit intense, especially for my wife. The video featured about 4 or 5 different people that suffered from BPD and their family members, with some professional thoughts and clarifications inserted by Marsha Linehan. There were a couple stories that I could really relate to especially when it came to marriage and family life.

In general yesterday was not the best day and there were a few episodes during the day, so I think this made the video even more intense for me and my wife. The important part for me was to notice her pain and reach out to make physical contact (hand holding). This can help give a sufferer a sense that you do still care, even if there was a bad argument, and that you are still there for them. Countless times my wife has told me after a raging episode that all she needed from me was for me to reach out and give her a hug or make physical contact. As a “non” this is not always easy, I mean who really wants to hug someone that has been yelling at them intensely for hours on end, it just goes against “our” reality. However, at the end of the day, we need to understand that our reality is not their reality and many times this is something that they need. At times like this, I try to take a few minutes to get my emotions in check and then attempt to reach out to my loved one.

The second video From Suffering to Freedom: Practicing Reality Acceptance covered Radical Acceptance; this is a concept that at first sounds like something most people would reject with an adamant WTH are you talking about. For me it was/is about breaking through the thought that by accepting something I am endorsing or approving it. However, after listening to Dr. Linehan explain it; I realized that accepting something is not approving it, and that until you accept something you cannot change it. As the video title states it is Radical and a new way of thinking for many people. Dr. Linehan also expressed that it is the one skill that people will always need to continue to work on, because acceptance is not always easy.

All in all I left the meeting feeling better; I was uplifted and saw areas where these methods could be used in my life. Although I cannot speak for my wife, emotionally she was in a much better state afterwards then she was a few hours before the meeting. Thank you @CarlDunnJr for helping to organize a Borderline Personality Disorder group here in Houston. I look forward to attending many more meetings in the future!